Staying grounded, thankful, and realistic this holiday season
A lighted Christmas reindeer in a shopping mall.
As we continue into the holidays, I can't help but feel immensely thankful for the incredible year I've had so far and the milestones achieved.
Thankful for getting to marry my best friend, inspiration, and incredible other half Justin, who pushes me to be better every single day. I truly couldn't do it without him.
Thankful for parents who are my biggest supporters in life.
Thankful for a loving and caring family who accepts me for who I am.
Thankful for some of the coolest in-laws one could ask for.
Thankful for the incredible new and existing friends I’ve made along the way.
Thankful for a stable job, professional career, and small business amidst all the economic uncertainty and disruption happening at a global scale.
Thankful for the students I’ve had the opportunity to help mentor, shape, and inspire this past year.
Thankful to have a roof over our heads and a pantry full of food.
Thankful to have found a church that welcomes and accepts us.
Thankful to live in an area that is safe, stable, and proactively planning for sustainable growth for the next 20 years.
Thankful to live in a place with clean air, clean water, a great public school system, local college, and university, that remains safe with low crime rates.
Did you notice anything missing from this list?
—
Answer: material goods aren’t a part of it.
I try to remind myself of these incredible aspects of life I’m thankful for because it’s amazing how heavily (and easily) the holiday season gets trapped behind mass consumerism, the “need” to impress, and lifestyle trends. We are so inundated with advertising, commercials, and subliminal messaging that subconsciously states things along the lines of “…if you don’t get your spouse/partner/bestie the newest ________, do you even love them?”
A crowded market full of shoppers.
Buying gifts for one another can be a love language - but only when it’s rare, meaningful, and commemorates special occasions. And most importantly, when it’s a time period in life in which both parties can actually afford to do so. What’s worse than giving a gift that subliminally says “Merry Christmas! I maxed out a credit card for you!” And now you’re paying down a card balance for the next 6-8 months - just in time to start the cycle over again for the next holiday season. And if you’re a couple living together and sharing finances, that could honestly lead to a more negative effect than the positive one you were intending.
Don’t get me wrong - material goods make life nicer. Kinder. More comfortable. We all deserve nice things that make life a little better or a little easier. Of course Justin and I are going to buy little souvenirs while we’re on vacation to commemorate the trip. I consider myself a fridge magnet aficionado. I rave about our espresso machine to friends and family because of how much it’s improved our morning routine, motivates us to get out of bed, and is now saving us money in the long-run by skipping the lines of Starbucks, 7 Brew, and Dutch Bros (the holy trifecta of $8 coffees). Who wouldn’t?
The main thing is - we shouldn’t prioritize materialism as the end all, be all for fulfillment in our lives. I’ve been seeing more and more influencers/content creators lately pushing products more than making the original content that first got them their platform, and it’s honestly getting exhausting to see. The constant “sell” of the “ideal” lifestyle - where you’ll only be happy - if and only if - you have the newest iPhone 17 Pro Max, Goyard tote, luxury SUV, corduroy New York Yankees hat, pristine white sneakers, and live in a manicured home with a two-story living room where every piece of furniture perfectly matches in “wellness spa white” or “sad beige.” This trend has taken hold so much that social media now almost feels like an online shopping feed rather than the avenues to share stories, thoughts, and memories like they originally set out to do by connecting people across communities and around the world.
More and more Americans are living paycheck to paycheck - so much so, in fact, that a recent article from CBS news points out a quarter of all American households are facing this new reality. Furthermore, more recent data shows that the top 10% of households in the U.S. now account for 50% of all consumer spending in our country. This phenomenon has recently been coined by economists as the new “K-Shaped Economy” - where the richest households continue to see growth, wealth accrual, and confidence, while the lower 2/3rds of society reduces spending, cuts back on lifestyles, and becomes more pessimistic. How’s that for a reality check?
If you’re feeling the squeeze this holiday season, just know that you aren’t alone. The statistics show it. The huge amounts of leftover goods still sitting in stores from Black Friday show it. The continued rise of empty storefronts show it. The all-too-common news of mass corporate layoffs show it. Conversations with friends, family, and community members show it.
Justin and I have had a few family and friends comment the last two weeks about how they feel bad they can’t afford to get others the gifts they really want to. If you’re in this same boat - don’t feel that way. Just don’t. Do NOT allow for societal norms and the rampancy of modern hyper-consumerism guilt trip you into thinking that you’re “not enough” or “not successful” because you can’t afford to buy everyone you know a gift this year.
Instead, know that you’re not the only one experiencing this, and the things that truly matter - more than what any material gift could say - are spending time with one another, embracing connection, and creating memories. Your thoughts, friendships, and very presence are more than what any physical gift could ever mean.
And honestly - I don’t know about you all, but I’d much rather have a good time visiting with the people I care about over coffee or a meal than receiving yet another throw blanket I don’t actually need. It’s more intentional, less wasteful, more memorable - and honestly better for the environment.
Happy Holidays, everyone. I hope you all have a fantastic week of family, connections, and remembering what really matters - that we all have each other.